Who are the biggest influences in your life?
Without a doubt – my mother.
Growing up, I assumed that everyone’s mom was like mine. She made food for us, packed our school lunches, and kept up the house. She enrolled us in school, made sure we did our homework, and took us to the doctor if we were sick. Since we lived primarily on military bases, the other moms in the neighborhood were pretty similar. It wasn’t till I got older that I realized my mom was quite different from other moms.
My mother’s philosophy was in keeping with the Unitarian Universalist religion with some Buddhism tossed in. I believe she became her true self sometime during the 1960s. Dad would jokingly call her a bohemian since she had developed a passion for painting and spent a lot of time around artists. As the youngest child, I often went with her when she met with other artists. And we started attending the Unitarian church in Newport, RI.
Dad disliked the UU church since, during the 1960s, many sermons were about Vietnam and the injustices of war. However, mom insisted on going and brought us kids along. She was even my Sunday school teacher for a while. She focused on teaching us about the time period when the Bible was written. Although I don’t remember specifics, I believe this is where I started to see that religion was invented by people in power, whose purpose was to control the commoners. It is interesting that all three of us kids have very similar views on organized religion.
Fast forward to mom’s later years: After Dad died, mom remained in the same assisted living facility for a few years and enjoyed the social aspect of community living. I lived in the same town with my husband and son for 13 years, then my husband died. Mom took the gramma role even more seriously after that and was hugely helpful. She would stay with my son if I had to travel for business and filled in many gaps in his circle of influence. Once, when she was staying with him, he had to wear his NJROTC uniform to school, but he had no idea how to tie the necktie. Mom brought him to visit an older gentleman in her community who showed him the secret. When my son had an art project for school, she would help and encourage him and even had one of his artworks framed and hung in her apartment. He was so proud of that.
Even in her 90s and suffering from dementia, mother remained kind and grateful. She never complained and tried to encourage others. When she had to be moved into a memory care unit, the staff there fell in love with her because she always had kind words and a smile. When I arrived at the facility the day she died, one of the caregivers came to me crying because she loved my mother so much.
There is so much more I could write, but today I am channeling her spirit of love and peace. And forgiveness for others. Her wedding ring is on a chain I always wear around my neck. I miss her every day, but I know she’s out in the universe watching out for me. It is so comforting. I hope I can be remembered in this way too.
Helster777 